They say money can’t buy happiness. Well, I’ll let you decide that one for yourself, but what I do know: money can sure as hell buy you a lot of other stuff. Flying in a private jet, eating a $777 burger, indulging in one of Serendipity’s $1,000 ice cream sundaes, a $43 cup of ‘luxury instant noodles’, toilet paper coated with gold, oh, and, tickets to one of theatre’s hottest musicals, Hamilton. Unless you’ve got a stash of extra money, chances are the only way you’ll be experiencing these luxuries is via Google or a Youtube video.
But there’s gotta be a way to still make that last one happen!
Hamilton isn’t just some ordinary play. It’s “redefined what an American musical can look and sound like, and is making a cultural impact far beyond Broadway’s 40 theatres.” It’s an absolute Broadway gamechanger! Unfortunately, a single show ticket goes for just under 1,000 bucks. Hmmmm, go see Hamilton, orrr pay my rent?
If this is the first time you’re hearing about Hamilton, I suggest you crawl out from beneath the rock you’ve been living under.
Lin-Manuel Miranda is a creative genius. (No really; last year he was awarded a MacArthur Foundation Fellowship, also known as: the genius grant.) On top of that, thousands of women are walking around with his face in their wallets. Seriously. I wish I was kidding; but I’m not.
Hamilton creatively tells the story of Alexander Hamilton and his role in the American Revolution through songs that brilliantly marry fact and history with rhythms of Hip-Hop and R&B. Tickets have already sold out for the next 6 months or so! Luckily, you can still snag your seats from a few select vendors.
As the unstoppable hype continues to draw in more aspirants to the waiting list, the basic economic rule of supply and demand consequently continues to respond with a rising price tag. Or maybe it’s Alexander Hamilton taking revenge for dying too early, considering he’s on the $10 bill? No? Okay.
Alright, so let’s get down to business. No offense, but since you probably won’t have a ton of spare money magically showing up in your bank account anytime soon – it makes sense that you start planning in advance. As in now. Here are some ways in which you can do so. Read carefully; these are thoroughly researched, exaggerated, and fool proof ways of managing your money. And getting your Hamilton tickets.
How to get your Hamilton tickets:
1) Ask your bank for an EMI scheme: Every national and global bank has their own Hamilton specific EMI scheme that can help decipher the best plan for you. Contact your bank’s customer service right away!
2) Either don’t send your children to college or don’t reproduce at all: It’s a clear and very obvious trade off. Would you rather have kids and see them succeed, or watch the majestic play yourself and die a happy satisfied human being? Your choice.
3) Rob a bank: That’s right, form a gang and get on with it. Need I say more?
4) Be a part of the play: There couldn’t be a more inexpensive solution. Star as an actor or become a sound system specialist – frankly, I don’t care what you do, just get hired. You’ll be able to watch the magic happen over and over.
5) Invisibility cloak: Order the invisibility cloak from Amazon’s Hogwarts website. The idea is to wear the cloak and enter the Richard Rodger theatre, without anyone noticing. You’ll need a contact or two from the non-Muggle world for this, so search your phone for one. I do happen to know Harry personally, but he is currently helping me get in touch with the cloak vendor, sorry.
6) Be born as a chameleon: That’s correct; you know you’re lucky to be a chameleon when you’re sitting in one of the premium orchestra seats, watching the play and camouflaging away to glory. Ha!
So yes – I leave you with these tools and secrets to finding the solution that best fits you. If all else fails, I suppose you could just find a decent YouTube clip, make some popcorn, and call it a day. But what’s the fun in that?
Have some of your own ideas as to how to score tickets? Share with us in the comments section below!
Written by our guest writer, Mehr Gill